Gram’s heart was broken. When another adult daughter died, she wailed: “What did I do so bad to deserve this?”

It was a body-blow pain.

Explaining your pain

We’ve all  hurt. How we explain pain determines much about how well we handle it. We can speak truth to ourselves. Or we can tell ourselves lies.

Here are some choices:

1) My behavior determines whether good or ill happens to me.

Job’s “friends” believed Job’s calamity was caused by Job’s sin.

Job also thought sin caused disaster, but thought he was innocent and couldn’t understand why the Lord allowed it.

Elijah said he’d been zealous for the Lord and couldn’t understand why bad things were happening to him.

2) I sinned and these are natural consequences of my behavior.

3) I live in a fallen world where sin, injury, problems of nature, and death are part of life. I am a sinner and I live with sinners. I don’t like it, but this is reality.

We must tell ourselves the facts of life:

1) I am a sinner living in a fallen world. I should not be surprised at fiery trials.

2) If I got what I deserved, I’d be dead. I am not entitled to only good things.

3) Life is not about Me. Don’t look at everything through the capital “M,” “Me.” Christians are God’s servants. How we handle suffering is a powerful testimony.

4) God is Sovereign. He is in control of this situation. I am His child (Make sure that is true. See Becoming a Child of God.) He has a loving purpose for this.

If we think we don’t deserve it, we have two things to cry about:

1) The pain itself, and

2) The belief that the pain is unfair.

Nothing is so certain as suffering. Plan now how to deal with it.

1) Ask yourself: How do I glorify God in this?

2) Ask yourself: Is there something I need to do?

3) Trust in God and make Him your refuge.

What have you learned from suffering?

Do you have tips for the rest of us?

“If you don’t know where you are going, you might wind up someplace else.” Yogi Berra

If you don’t care where you’re going, “Then it doesn’t matter which way you go.” Cheshire Cat, Alice in Wonderland

On the other hand, if you want to be intentional about how you live, and you care where you’re going, then

“Begin with the end in mind.” Stephen Covey

Life vision

As we start a new year, this is a great time to become clear about your life’s vision. Where do you want to end up? What do you want people to say about you when you’re gone? What do you want written on your tombstone?

Your life vision should be:

Emotionally compelling

Personally meaningful

Inspiring

Enduring

Guiding

Consistent with your core values

It will help you decide what to do—or what not to do. Goals flow out of vision and mission.

Examples

Paul

Paul’s personal vision:

“[To] know [Christ Jesus Christ my Lord] and the power of His resurrection and the fellowship of His sufferings, being conformed to His death” (Philippians 3:10).

To see Paul’s passion, read his entire statement (Philippians 3:7-14).

Paul’s “niche” was to be a minister and witness, and to open the eyes of the Gentiles. (Acts 26:15-18)

Here is how Paul evaluated himself very near the end of his life:

“I have fought the good fight, I have finished the course, I have kept the faith” (2 Timothy 4:7).

Ezra

Ezra “set his heart to study the law of the LORD and to practice it, and to teach His statutes and ordinances in Israel” (Ezra 7:10).

Luke

Luke said: “it seemed fitting for me, having investigated everything carefully from the beginning, to write it out … in consecutive order …” (Luke 1:3).

John

John’s wrote his gospel “so that you may believe that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of God, and that believing you may have life in His name” (John 20:31).

What about you?

If you haven’t already done this, spend some time the next few days prayerfully thinking about what you want your end to be. (See But What Are We to DO? and Spiritual Self-Appraisal.)

Your life vision is your base. Goals flow from that.

Then your path becomes much more clear.

And you have much more energy for the journey.

It’ll give you a good start for the New Year.

Do you have a vision for your life?

How does that vision affect your day?

What advice do you have for those developing their own vision?

The end of the year is a good time to slow down and take stock. As the sun sets on 2014, how do you think you did?

STOP!

I can hear many of you, just like me, shift into critical mode. We can be our own worst enemies.

But if you believe in Jesus Christ, have put your trust in Him, here is what Almighty God says to you:

“I love you.”

God loves His children because He chooses to. We cannot earn His love, even by scoring an “A+” on our 2014 assessment.

Some things to remember

God is working in you so that you want to do His will and actually do His will. That is His responsibility. (Philippians 2:13)

God is able to keep us from stumbling. (Jude 24)

One day we will stand in the presence of His glory blameless with great joy. (Jude 24)

Isn’t that exciting? Reassuring?

Our responsibilities

But we have responsibilities too. For example:

We are to abide in Christ. (John 15:4)

We are to love one another, just as Christ has loved us. (John 15:12)

We were created for good works, which God prepared beforehand so that we would walk in them. (Ephesians 2:10)

Look back

Now, look back at 2014 through His love for you.

What would the Lord like you to do more of?

What would He like you to do less of?

What makes you grateful?

What inspires you?

My story

I did an annual self-appraisal as part of my annual work performance review. I let my boss know how I thought I was doing.

A number of years ago I realized wasn’t doing anything similar with my real Boss. I began an annual process of spiritual self-appraisal. Of course, it isn’t really me appraising myself. It is a two-way process where I reflect and pray and hear from the Lord.

There are many ways to do this. Searching on “self-assessment” and “self-appraisal” generated nearly 50 million hits!”Spiritual Self-Appraisal” generated more than 200,000 hits.

As a thought-starter, here is what I do:

First, I start by reviewing the past year. I quickly read through my journal. Look at my calendar. What seemed to go well? What didn’t go so well?

Second, I look at my annual goals. Did I complete my goals, or at least make progress?

Third, I compare all of that to my over-all vision for my life.

As I do this, I listen for the Lord’s voice and take notes.

Fourth, I use the New Testament to challenge myself. For example:

Have I relied on Him more during the year than the previous one?

Did I grow in the knowledge and love of God?

Was I of service to others?

Did I love my neighbor as myself?

I usually hear the Lord point out areas that are pleasing to Him and areas I need to work on. I pay attention to what makes me grateful or inspired. And, then, this starts me thinking about where I should focus in the next year.

What about you?

Do you review the closing year?

What is your method?

Has the Lord spoken to you?

When young children were asked what they wanted to get for Christmas, they gave many answers with great energy. Then, when they were given a choice of a big chocolate or a small chocolate, most took the big candy, leaving the small one for their companion.

When, instead, they were asked what presents they wanted to give, they also had answers. But then most took the small candy, giving the big chocolate for their companion. (See Does Santa Make You Selfish?)

Getting

What are you getting for Christmas?

God’s life-changing present for us isn’t under the tree. He gave us His Son. Our Savior is born.

“For by grace you have been saved through faith; and that not of yourselves, it is the gift of God.” (Ephesians 2:8)

Believers are justified as a gift. (Romans 3:23–24)

Believers are given living water. (John 4:10)

As a free gift, believers are given eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord. (Romans 6:23)

Believers receive the gift of the Holy Spirit. (Acts 2:38)

“Thanks be to God for His indescribable gift!” (2 Corinthians 9:15)

Giving

What are you giving this Christmas?

There is no remotely equivalent gift to give Him. God the Father gave His Son. The Son gave Himself.

In fact, everything is His. All we can do is give back to Him what He has already given us.

“For all things come from You, and from Your hand we have given you.” (1 Chronicles 29:14)

The closest we can come to matching the gift God gave us is to give Him ourselves, using our time, talents and resources for His service, for His glory, to love our neighbor

What are you giving this year?

Is there a present under the tree for Jesus?

Great Joy

Jesus Christ is born! Hallelujah!!

Good news of great joy for all the people. (Luke 2:10)

The spiritual blessings are overwhelming. Immanuel, meaning “God with us” was born to save us from our sins. He was born for us a Savior. (Isaiah 7:14)

This is God’s solution to our problem: our sins separate us from God. If we don’t receive Christ, we’re eternally separated from Him. But if we receive Christ, we are rescued from darkness and live in God’s marvelous light. Adopted into God’s eternal family. (See Becoming a Child of God.)

But Not All Joy For Everyone

Christmas, especially in this culture, is a mixture of spiritual, family, and secular elements. It’s easy to have the busyness of decorating, cooking, and gift buying overwhelm the spiritual.

And for many, Christmas is a time of overwhelming sorrow, when dreams clash with reality. Many do not have family or have problem families. Or there is no money for the trappings of the day. Many don’t have a place to go. Many aren’t invited to the party.

You’re Invited

Do you want to be gathered around the tree? You can.

Do you want to be invited to the dinner? You are.

You are invited to the celebration.

You are invited to the family gathering.

Are you on the inside? Do you know you are part of God’s family?

Open Invitation

Everyone is included in God’s invitation.

Jesus says: “Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest.” (Matthew 11:28)

“The Spirit and the bride say, “Come.” And let the one who hears say, “Come.” And let the one who is thirsty come; let the one who wishes take the water of life without cost.” (Revelation 22:17)

Invite Others

Is there someone outside pressing their nose against the window?

Is there someone you need to invite?

You’re invited.

Pass it on.

Wicked reveals things that happened before the events described in The Wizard of Oz. The Hobbit is about events before the Lord of the Rings. Both are described as prequels.

The prequel to Christmas is John 1:1-3 and Philippians 2:5-8.

Jesus Christ is God and has been God from the beginning and has been with God from the beginning. Everything came into being through Him.

But, even though He was and is God, He didn’t regard that as something to assert. He was willing to be born a baby, to be a bond-servant. He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross.

So here is the prequel to both Christmas and Good Friday.

Think about it! Jesus Christ, God the Son, was born a baby. He willingly set aside equality with God in order to become a bond-servant, to be obedient, to die.

We tend to focus on the sacrifice of Jesus Christ on the cross. His sacrifice started with laying aside equality with God. His sacrifice continued with being born a baby. And continued with obedience. And continued with His death on a cross.

It is all one piece.

The motivation? God’s love.

What an awesome God!

Did turkeys take longer to cook in those days? They must have. I woke to the aroma of roasting turkey and the three families and assorted guests didn’t come until 4. It was forever.

My mother–then a widow with a 9-year old son–began the tradition in 1943 by asking three families to join them. By the time she met and married my father during the war (no accident–he was related to one of the three families!) and I came along, Thanksgiving was an institution. The warmth of those days is with me still.

The four families celebrated everything together: holidays, birthdays, new homes, summer. It wasn’t until I was 12 I realized I wasn’t actually related to one of the families. But it didn’t matter. We loved each other. We were family.

Thanksgiving Day was another opportunity to give thanks for each other, for our traditions, for God’s goodness. My dad always offered grace: “Give us grateful hearts, our Father, for Thy many blessings. Make us mindful of the needs of others. Through Jesus Christ our Lord.”

“AMEN!” the 25 or so at the table said.

We sat at a table expanded by ping pong tables my dad shaped to fit our dining room table and covered with a tablecloth my mother made in 1943. The tablecloth was a focal point of our celebration. On it, carefully embroidered by my mother and grandmother, were the signatures of everyone eating at that table since 1943, and notations of where those absent were.

Before dinner everyone looked at The Thanksgiving Cloth. “Do you remember?” “Look how grown up her signature was that year.” “Oh–Johnny was away at school that year.” “Here’s John R’s . . . that was his last Thanksgiving.” “She brought her roommate.” “Tom was in Vietnam.” Do you remember… do you remember. . .

Our celebration was always open. Friends came. Out of town relatives and guests came. Last minute arrivals were welcome. There was always room for one more. And their signatures would be carefully embroidered on The Cloth.

These were powerful lessons for the children. Families matter. Traditions matter. God matters.

After dinner, we gathered around the piano. My “funnest” friend sang “Goodnight Irene” to his wife, Irene. We sang “Five Foot Two, Eyes of Blue” to my brown-eyed sister-in-law. After old time favorites, we began singing Christmas carols as we drew names for our Christmas Eve gift exchange.

Did it take longer in those days for Christmas to come?

What are you thankful for this Thanksgiving?

I can’t keep going. I can’t.

You’ve probably been there too. And we have lots of company: Job, Elijah, and Jeremiah, for example.

On Mount Carmel, the Lord dramatically showed He is God and Baal was not. Elijah then slew the prophets of Baal. This was an awesome demonstration of God’s power and confirmation that Elijah was His prophet.

But then Jezebel threatened Elijah and Elijah ran for his life. He asked the Lord that he might die. “It is enough; now, O LORD, take my life, for I am not better than my fathers” (1 Kings 19:4).

Elijah decided he could not go on.

Here are some things to think about

1. Ask yourself: “Should I keep going?”

Is this what God wants you to do, or it is something you concocted?

If it is what God wants you to do, did you embellish it? Are you doing more than He asked? For example, did He ask you to make dinner, but you decided to cook a gourmet five-course meal?

Did you set, for yourself, an unreasonable time frame?

Make sure you’re working on God’s plan and not your own.

2. Ask yourself: “Am I telling myself some lies?”

Elijah did. Elijah told the Lord he wasn’t any better than his fathers. Later he said: “I have been very zealous for the LORD… And I alone am left; and they seek my life, to take it away” (1 Kings 19:10).

Elijah did not reflect on the recent events of Mount Carmel.

He was wrong that he alone was left. The Lord told him He had 7,000 in Israel.

Are you telling yourself some lies? For example:

I can’t do this.

No one cares.

God doesn’t care.

Lies, anxiety, and worry are strength sappers.

3. Ask yourself: “Am I physically exhausted?

You might be, and, if so, you need to get some rest.

Elijah was exhausted. He ran from Jezreel to Beersheba (more than 100 miles) and then went another day’s journey into the wilderness. And he lay down and slept under a juniper tree. Food (provided by God) and a rest helped him.

Without proper food and rest, “the journey is too great for you” (1 Kings 19:7).

Are you eating well? Are you resting?

I know finding a time and way to rest may be a project of its own, but rest is essential.

4. Speak truth to yourself.

When we’re hard pressed, it is easy to focus on the negatives and forget God’s glorious promises.

We have to take care what we listen to (Mark 4:24).

Remember:

God does care. He loves you so much His Son died for you.

You DO have what it takes (2 Corinthians 9:8; Philippians 4:13, 19; 2 Peter 1:3).

5. Look further ahead

Don’t focus entirely on the tasks in front of you.

We do have a race to run. It takes endurance. We should fix “our eyes on Jesus… who for the joy set before Him endured the cross…” (Hebrews 12:2).

This is a great opportunity to learn to rely on God (2 Corinthians 12:9) and to learn to be content in your circumstance (Philippians 4:11).

6. Take time for God.

Make sure you are in His Word. Make sure you are praying.

It is God who comforts the depressed (2 Corinthians 7:6-7).

God can’t refresh you if you aren’t in His presence.

7. Remember: the Lord is coming!

I sometimes wish God would give me the syllabus. I think it would be comforting to know what grade I’m in, what my classes are this term, when exams are scheduled.

Ok. So that isn’t going to happen.

How about if God gave me specific goals and objectives for the year?

Ok. So that isn’t going to happen either.

When I read Acts and the Epistles, I’m struck with how specific the Lord was with Paul.

Paul’s identity and mission

Paul was called as an apostle of Jesus Christ by the will of God, set apart for the gospel, appointed a minister and a witness, sent to preach the kingdom of God, to teach concerning the Lord Jesus Christ, and to open the eyes of the Gentiles.

Paul knew who he was, whose he was, and his God-given mission.

We know much of that as well

We know Christ calls us by name and leads us. (John 10:3)

We know we are God’s people, His sons and daughters. (Ephesians 1:5)

We know we are saints, set apart by God. (Romans 1:7)

We know we are chosen of God, holy and beloved. (Colossians 3:12)

We know we are on a Christ-led journey to eternal glory. (1 Peter 5:10)

But what are we to DO?

The work of God is to believe whom He sent. (John 6:29)

We are to love our neighbors as ourselves. (Matthew 22:39)

We are appointed to bear fruit. (John 15:16)

We were created in Christ Jesus for good works (Ephesians 2:10)

We are to follow Christ. (Matthew 16:24)

Specific gifts of service

The specifics I long for arise out of the particular gifts and ministries allotted to me by the Holy Spirit.

Each of us is given gifts and ministries. These vary, but each of them is to be used for the common good. (1 Corinthians 12:4-7)

The gifts equip each of us for the work of service, for the building up of the body of Christ. (Ephesians 4:11-13)

We are commanded to employ our own special gift in serving one another as good stewards of the manifold grace of God. (1 Peter 4:10)

Your identity and mission

[Your name], a saint chosen and called by God to Himself through our Lord Jesus Christ, holy and beloved, equipped by the Holy Spirit for the work of service, chosen to proclaim God’s excellencies, appointed to bear fruit in every good work, and to build up the body of Christ.

Things to think about:

Put your name in that last paragraph. Read it aloud. I hope it gives you a tingle.

Don’t compare what you are doing (or not doing) to anyone else. Each of us receives different gifts. We are all part of the body of Christ, but we have different functions, different areas of service.

Pray about your specific gift and how you are to use it for His glory.

How are you doing?