Are you an empty nester? Are you a widow or widower? Are you out of the work force because of job loss or retirement? Are you working, but your job doesn’t have meaning to you? Does health restrict your activity? Are you just tired of it all?
Have you lost your sense of purpose? Are you just going through the motions? Do you feel useless?
Stop Believing a Lie
Since you are reading this, you are still alive. (Duh!) Since you are alive, God has a purpose for you.
You are NOT useless. Don’t believe that lie.
God called you for a purpose
God saved you and called you to a holy calling. (2 Timothy 1:9-10)
God prepared good works for you to do (Ephesians 2:10)
God equipped you
God gave gifts to each of us. (Romans 12:6-8, 1 Corinthians 12:1-11)
There are a variety of God-given gifts, but each of us has been equipped for the common good. (Romans 12)
Don’t miss this: YOU have a gift. YOU have a purpose.
God will fulfill His purpose for you
God is at work, both within you and within the world to accomplish His purpose.
It is God who is at work in you, both to will and to work for His good pleasure. (Philippians 2:13)
God fulfills His purpose for me. (Psalm 57:2 and 138:8)
God won’t take you home until He has fulfilled His purpose for you.
“David, after he had served the purpose of God in his own generation, fell asleep … (Acts 13:36).”
David didn’t die until after he had served the purpose of God.
Things to do
To help identify your purpose and some shorter-term activities that seem God-driven, look to God. Read through the New Testament quickly looking for statements of purpose and activities that seem to be directed at you. Make a list. Do the same with the Old Testament. Pray about it.
This type of Bible reading is different than devotional reading or Bible study, both of which we should be doing. The advantage is that you identify what the Bible says about a theme. A concordance is not comprehensive enough. For example, there are many, many verses about worship that do not use the word “worship.” There are topical Bibles that can help, but the best way, by far, is to get directly into the Bible yourself. Let God speak to you through His Word. Hear from God directly about your purpose and the good works you are to be doing.
Get reoriented. Get committed.
What are you going to do today?
“KrisHoney.”
My dad often called me “KrisHoney,” saying it as all one word. I vividly remember his warmth.
Our names single us out. Being called by name means you’re not an extra in a big movie scene where you just take up space. A nameless blob in the crowd. Instead, you have a unique identity.
Being named means you are an individual. You are not like anyone else. No one, ever, is or was like you.
But think about this: God calls you by name.
You are not just one of billions to God. You have a name. You are singled out.
“See, I have called by name Bezalel…” (Exodus 31:2).
“Samuel! Samuel!” (1 Samuel 3:10).
[Christ] calls His own sheep by name and leads them. (John 10:3)
Are you one of Christ’s sheep?
If you believe in and trust Jesus Christ, you are in Jesus’ flock. Jesus calls you by name. He leads you, blesses you. He makes you lie down in green pastures. He leads you beside still waters. He restores your soul. (Psalm 23). (See Becoming a Child of God.)
We, believers, hear His voice. We know His voice. We are able to follow. When Lazarus, dead Lazarus, heard Jesus call his name, he came out of the tomb alive.
My Lord knows me by name. He calls me by name. It’s a personal relationship.
If you are a Christian, Christ knows you by name. He calls you by name. You are unique and special to Him.
We have been called to belong to Him (Romans 1:6). We are to rejoice that our names have been written in heaven (Luke 10:20).
Things to Think About
Christ calls you by name and leads you. Do you realize how special you are to Him?
Since you are named by God, how does that influence how you interpret your circumstances?
Can you live knowing, deeply knowing, you are His beloved?
One of the first days of retirement I was sitting on a deck, looking out over the water, watching the birds, my feet up on the railing.
Doing nothing.
I had no “to do” list. I had no short-term goals. I didn’t have an up-coming performance appraisal.
I hadn’t thought yet about goals in retirement.
With some dismay, I realized I would have to learn how to do nothing.
Oh oh.
While I was working, I’d thought a lot about how to work for the glory of God. I’d thought about which parts of my work role I could emphasize to serve Him.
Now what?
“Whether, then, you eat or drink or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God” (1 Corinthians 10:31).
How do I “do” retirement for the glory of God?
That answer evolved over the now five-plus years, and will continue to change, I’m sure.
But the first tasks were to rest physically, emotionally, and mentally. To slow down. God had thrown a switch and I’d been shuttled off the career track to a new one.
It took awhile to reorient. I threw myself into all the house projects I’d neglected. At one point my husband reminded me it didn’t all need to be done that day.
I am still learning what my priorities should be. And where to let go.
You are in a different spot than I am. You may still be working, or have children at home. Or even more demandingly, young children at home. You may be a caregiver for your spouse or other family member. You may be in school or retired.
In whatever situation, the principle is the same. Whatever we do, we are to do all for the glory of God.
And we cannot do it all. There are always priorities to set.
We need to remember that rest is God-given. Jesus took His disciples aside so they could rest. Rest, in a larger sense, is the theme of much of the Bible.
Here are some things for you to think about:
1) Whatever your situation, whatever you are doing, you are to do it all for the glory of God.
2) Regardless of your role(s), think about how you might tweak that role or emphasize certain parts of it in service to God.
3) Figure out how to get regular rest (physical, emotional, mental). Determine that you are going to do this. Remember, you are important to God and rest is important to you. The Sabbath was made for man, not man for the Sabbath. We can rest for the glory of God. Sometimes, we should do “nothing” for the glory of God.
Seagulls sometimes use pelicans to help them catch fish. They sit on the backs of pelicans and try to steal fish that the pelicans bring up. That’s in the “using” category rather than the “helping” category, I guess. But the pelicans tolerate it.
We can do better. We can help our friends in their quests to catch fish.
I am thinking of encouragement.
Think about a time you were working on some hard thing. You might have become tired and discouraged. But then someone came along and noticed the work you were doing, admired it, and encouraged you. I bet you had a huge boast. And were energized to keep going.
I react that way too.
A few examples
“Hezekiah spoke encouragingly to all the Levites who showed good insight in the things of the Lord. He appointed military officers … and spoke encouragingly to them … He set the priests in their offices and encouraged them in the service of the house of the LORD” (2 Chronicles 30:22; 32:6; 35:2).
“Each one helps his neighbor and says to his brother, “Be strong!” So the craftsman encourages the smelter, and he who smooths metal with the hammer encourages him who beats the anvil, saying of the soldering, “It is good”; and he fastens it with nails, so that it will not totter” (Isaiah 41:6–7).
Commandment
Fundamentally, help comes from God. But we are commanded to encourage each other.
“Therefore encourage one another and build up one another, just as you also are doing” (1 Thessalonians 5:11).
“We urge you, brethren, admonish the unruly, encourage the fainthearted, help the weak, be patient with everyone” (1 Thessalonians 5:14).
“But encourage one another day after day, as long as it is still called “Today,” so that none of you will be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin” (Hebrews 3:13).
Results
Encouragement is linked to:
Strengthening someone in action (Deuteronomy 1:38; 3:28; Isaiah 35:3-4; 41:6-7);
Hope (Romans 15:4; Hebrews 6:16-20);
Remaining true to the Lord (Acts 11:22-24);
Continuing in the faith (Acts 14:20-22);
Walking in a manner worthy of God (1 Thessalonians 2:10-12);
Building up one another (1 Thessalonians 5:11).
You matter
You matter in others’ lives. Resolve to encourage them.
Questions for you:
Think about a time you were encouraged by someone. What was your situation? How did you feel after you had been encouraged? Did being encouraged affect what you were doing? How?
Think about a time you encouraged someone else. Why did you encourage that person? What happened? How did you feel about it?
A number of years ago I had trouble forgiving someone. One wretched morning, as I was sort of praying, sort of ruminating, wishing things were otherwise, I sensed the question: “If not now, when?”
That stopped me in my miserable tracks. Yes, I knew I was commanded to forgive. Yes, I knew that forgiving was in my best self-interest. I just was stuck.
But the question penetrated every barrier. If I were going to forgive someday, and I knew I would (or would have to), why not now? If I weren’t going to forgive at that moment, when would I? What would make it better to forgive at a future time rather than right that minute?
For me, that question got me over the hump. By an act of the will, I forgave right then. What release! What relief!
More recently, I relearned the power of that question. I had lost weight on a sensible plan, but had taken a break. While I had maintained my weight loss, I was having trouble recommitting to losing the rest of the weight. It takes energy and focus to stick to a weight loss program. But—“If not now, when?”
There are dangers in waiting. You’ll miss opportunities in the present. You’ll miss blessings now that might not be there in the future. Doors may close. (See The Last Knock.)
Is there something you need to do that you haven’t done? What is holding you back? What are you waiting for? What makes it better to do it in the future? What is the problem with now?
If not now, when?
I lost a job I loved in a company I loved.
That is clearly a loss. Isn’t it? Or is it?
God moves us
Not long after I lost my job, I read, as if for the first time, Deuteronomy 6:23. Moses told the Israelites to tell their sons that the Lord brought them out of Egypt in order to bring them into the promised land.
God had to take me out of my company in order to bring me into a new “land,” a new situation with new opportunities.
Joseph was sold into slavery by his brothers and spent thirteen years as a slave or in prison. That appears to be an unmitigated disaster. But when we read the entire story, we learn that God moved Joseph from Canaan to Egypt to preserve many people alive.
When we learn the whole story, we see it was a win, not a loss, even though there was suffering.
We might be comfy where we are. We might even be in a productive avenue of service.
But God, for His own reasons, has the right and the power to move us. We are His servants, and we are at His disposal.
I can’t give you God’s reasons for taking me out of my company. But, more than five years later, I am very happily retired, I have a book that is being published, and I have this web site. I have different areas of service than I did, but God has me where He wants me.
God shapes us
Another category of “loss” that is really a win is when He prunes us.
If you are bearing fruit, Jesus tells us the Father will prune you so that you might bear more fruit.
Pruning is a win. And it is certification that you had been bearing fruit.
It might not be fun at the time, but pruning is a compliment, and it is an indication we’ll bear more fruit in the future.
If God moves you or prunes you
1. Determine to look at the long run, not just the immediate issues. Try to see it through the lens of eternity.
2. Don’t bother to ask “why.” God seldom answers that question. Instead, ask Him what He wants you to do with your loss. Ask Him to give you a vision of what you might do in the future. Ask Him what He wants you to do now. Remember, “now” is really all we have. But “now” also prepares us for what He may ask in the future.
3. Praise Him. He is in control of both our losses and our wins. Our life and times are in His hands. Even though we don’t understand, we can be certain that He loves us and has a loving purpose for moving us or pruning us.
4. Remember, you have an opportunity to witness to Him in every loss and in every win. Don’t let the chance slip away.
Questions for you:
Has God moved you or pruned you?
What happened?
How are you viewing it now?
Are you waiting?
Waiting when you know what will happen
You know you will eventually get to the front of the line (see I want it NOW!).
or
You know that what the Lord promised will happen, definitely, for sure, in the Lord’s timing. That is waiting in faith based on certainty.
Waiting with uncertainty
Waiting when you don’t know what is going to happen is different. You might be waiting for the results of the bar exam, or the medical licensing exam. You might be waiting to hear about your son or daughter serving in a risky part of the world. You might be waiting for the results of a significant medical test. You don’t know what is coming. Your future will be very different depending on the outcome.
What do you do?
1. “Wait” is not a stop sign.
While what is going to happen will affect your life, it doesn’t have to affect your life today.
Today counts. We are to redeem the time. Don’t spend the time waiting in mind-numbing activities. Conventional “wisdom” says to distract yourself. But checking Facebook 54 times in a morning is different from a conversation with your spouse, brother or sister. I’m not saying Facebook is bad, but spending time doing things that disconnect you from reality is not the best choice.
Today is all we have. Following Christ happens in real time. Be intentional about how your use your time. Do today what needs to be done today. This isn’t distraction, this is consistently following the Lord. It is taking up your cross today.
Be diligent to be found by Him in peace, spotless and blameless (2 Peter 3:14).
God uses the waiting times for good in our lives.
Keep on keeping on.
The journey is important. Ask the right questions:
What are joys and opportunities right now?
What can/should I learn right now?
What are some benefits about having to wait?
2. Be realistic.
Might it be cancer? Might you have failed the exam? Might the news about your child be bad? Maybe so.
Is there something you can do to improve the chances of a favorable outcome?
Is there something you can do now to lessen how bad it might be?
What if the worst happens? How might God want you to use that? Can you picture how, with God at your side, you can handle whatever it is? Can you picture meaning in the outcome?
You might want to do some initial planning, just in case. What would honor Christ to say to the person delivering bad news? Or to your friends/family?
How can you serve others with this experience? How might you encourage others? How might you serve others by doing things that would have helped you?
Remind yourself, over and over as necessary, that if the worst happens, God is with you and God is for you.
3. Waiting is a sign to yield to God.
Pray.
Recognize God is in control not only of the outcome but also of the timing. How long you wait is His choice. What happens is His choice.
God has purpose in the process. He has a reason for making you wait. Your life and times are in His hand. (Psalm 31:15)
Choose to trust Him.
Surrender. Yield to God.
Ask the right questions.
“What should I learn from this?”
“How can I honor God in this?”
It is not asking Why? (See Why, God, Why?)
4. Manage your emotions.
God’s children are told not to worry. We are told not to be anxious. Instead, we are to pray.
Paul learned to be content in every situation. We can too.
We are to be strong and take courage. (Psalm 27:14; Psalm 31:24 and many other verses)
You can wait because you hope in Him (Psalm 39:7)
5. Remember, it will be okay. God promises. (Romans 8:28)
Remind yourself of His many promises to His children. You might want to copy out key verses and memorize them.
Questions for you:
Are you waiting for something?
How is it going?
Any tips?
“He improves every room he walks into.”
That was said about a professional athlete who maintains a cheerful attitude whether or not he is playing well.
Is that true of me? True of you?
How did those Jesus healed respond?
The gospels often do not record the response of the person Jesus healed or that of the onlookers. Where we get glimpses of reactions we see:
– rejoicing
– imploring Jesus to leave their region
– being awestruck
– glorifying God
– telling others
– conspiring to kill Jesus
– following Him
– believing in Him
– worshipping
In only one account (I think) does the healed person thank Jesus. In Luke 17, ten lepers asked Jesus to have mercy on them. Jesus told them “Go and show yourselves to the priests” (Luke 17:14).
One of the ten, “when he saw that he had been healed, turned back, glorifying God with a loud voice, and he fell on his face at His feet, giving thanks to Him” (Luke 17:15-16).
Jesus said: “Were there not ten cleansed? But the nine—where are they?” (Luke 17:17).
Christians are expected to be thankful. We should have a consistent “attitude of gratitude.” We should always be the one who gives thanks to God.
Why be thankful?
God commands His children to be thankful.
Thankfulness honors God.
God hates grumbling.
Thanksgiving reorients us to reality. We have so much to be grateful for.
Thanksgiving is the cure for grumbling, worry, impatience. It is the substitute that changes everything.
Gratitude is a witness to others.
How can you make thanksgiving a habit of life?
1. Count your blessings, both spiritual and earthly. Periodically take a defined period of time and list everything you can. At the end of every day, identify three things to be thankful for from that day.
2. As you go through your day, deliberately look for things to praise
3. When you grumble (See Who are you grumbling at?), worry, or are impatient (See I want it NOW!), choose to substitute thanksgiving for your negative reaction. Remind yourself that God is sovereign, and that He loves you. Remind yourself that you are His creation, His child, His servant. (See Becoming a Child of God.) He has a reason for the situation. You can trust Him.
My goal is to consistently overflow with gratitude (Colossians 2:7). To have a song in my heart (Ephesians 5:19). Always. In everything.
How about you?
Questions for you:
Are you a grateful person?
How can you increase the frequency or intensity of your thanksgiving?
What advice do you have for us?
Three feet of new snow makes me grumpy. Okay. Okay. I grumbled. I complained. I spoke against. I moaned. I groused. I protested. I griped, I objected. I muttered. I bellyached. Lots of synonyms, huh?
The Israelites grumbled: bitter water, no meat, miserable food, adversity, enemies.
“Because the LORD hates us, He has brought us out of the land of Egypt . . . to destroy us” (Deuteronomy 1:26-27).
“They grumbled in their tents; they did not listen to the voice of the LORD” (Psalm 106:25).
Who is behind the things we grumble about?
I grumbled at lots (and lots) of new snow, knowing it would take hours of work to dig out. But who caused the snowstorm?
The Lord made it clear the Israelites were grumbling at Him.
“The LORD hears your grumblings which you grumble against Him” (Exodux 16:8).
I have heard the complaints of the sons of Israel, which they are making against Me” (Numbers 14:27).
The Lord does not like grumbling.
“Nor let us … grumble, as some of them did, and were destroyed by the destroyer” (2 Corinthians 10:10).
He destroyed many of the Israelites for grumbling. He killed them . . . for grumbling. Clearly, He takes grumbling seriously.
The issue is not what we’re grumbling about. It is WHO we are grumbling about.
Are you, am I, characterized by grumbling? Or by gratitude?
I want my life attitude to be gratitude. How about you?
Here is how to stop grumbling:
1) Catch yourself grumbling. That may be harder than you think, especially if grumbling is an ingrained habit. Identify a grumble as soon as possible. Catch yourself in the act. (I’m talking to myself, too.) Stop while you tackle steps 2 and 3.
2) Review the basics. God is sovereign. He caused or allowed whatever you’re grumbling about. It is part of His plan for you. God loves you and promises to bring good out of whatever it is. He has a loving purpose for what you are going through.
3) Substitute thanksgiving for grumbling. It isn’t feasible to just stop grumbling, you need to put something else in its place. Tune in next week to hear more.
Questions for you:
How much do you grumble?
Do you want to stop?
What are you going to do?
My commercial pilot husband tells me that before taxi, pilots sometimes would say: “The only thing keeping us here is fear.” (That’s a joke, travelers!)
Is that true in your life? Is fear the only thing keeping you in a bad situation? Is fear keeping you from doing something you know is right?
How do you do what you need to do even though you are afraid? How do you do it scared?
What not to do
When Moses sent out twelve men to spy out the land, ten reported back that the people were too strong for them and that they could not take the land. They said: “we became like grasshoppers in our own sight” (Numbers 13:33).
The Lord promised to give them the land, but the ten forgot His promise and relied on their own sight, their own judgment.
They allowed their fear to keep them from acting.
What to do
Queen Esther needed to approach the King to save the Jews from destruction. However, going to the King without being summoned was a potential death sentence. Her uncle told her: “Who knows whether you have not attained royalty for such a time as this?” She determined to approach the King. “I will go in to the king, which is not according to the law; and if I perish, I perish” (Esther 4: 14, 16).
Queen Esther knew she might be killed. But approaching the king was the right thing to do. So she prepared to do it scared. She, her maidens, and the Jews in Susa fasted for three days. When she approached the king she had on her royal robes.
She managed her fear and acted.
How do you do the right thing even though you are afraid?
Paul said in Macedonia there were “conflicts without, fears within” (2 Corinthians 7:5). Paul didn’t tell us about his fears, but the Bible tells us a lot about how to keep going.
1) When you know the right thing to do, deliberately choose to do it. Remember, not acting is also a choice. Choose whom you serve (Joshua 24:15, Hebrews 11:25).
2) Remind yourself who God is. God is in control, and He loves you. Fear God, not your circumstances. Look at what you need to do through eyes of faith. “Do not be afraid … remember the Lord who is great and awesome, and fight . . . ” (Nehemiah 4:14).
3) Remember, God is with you and God is for you. You are not in this alone. Remember your value to God. (For example, Luke 12:28, Philippians 3:20, 2 Timothy 4:18, Hebrews 2:16.) You are a child of the King. Set your hope on Him. You can do it.
4) Determine to act. Determine to trust Him. “When I am afraid, I will put my trust in You” (Psalm 56:3). “Do not let your heart be troubled, nor let it be fearful” (John 14:27). We are not in control, but we are deeply loved by the One who is.
5) Change your focus. “Set your mind on things above” (Colossians 3:2). Set your mind on God’s interests (Mark 8:33). Do not focus on “what if.” Don’t focus on outward things (2 Corinthians 10:7). Keep your eyes on God. Fix your eyes on Jesus (Hebrews 12:2). Peter became frightened when he took his eyes off Jesus and saw the wind (Matthew 14:30). We can’t directly eliminate fear, but we can substitute fear with faith, thereby driving out the fear.
6) Determine to “fight the good fight of faith” (1 Timothy 6:12). “Be strong and courageous, and act; do not fear nor be dismayed, for the LORD God, my God, is with you. He will not fail you nor forsake you” (1 Chronicles 28:20).
Questions for you:
When do you tend to act (or not act) out of fear rather than faith?
When have you determined to act, even though you were scared?
What advice do you have for others?
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When Storms Come: Will You Be Ready?
When Storms Come: Will You Be Ready? helps Christians not fear bad news, shows them how to handle current trouble, and helps them emerge stronger on the other side.
About me
I'm a Christian, wife, retiree, and author.
I love studying and putting knowledge into action. I'll share what I'm learning, encourage you, and urge all of us to press on to become more like Christ.
Pressing On Together
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