I’m an introvert, one of those folks who can bump into a just-moved piece of furniture. Perhaps my most famous introvert moment was emerging from my office, still early in the day, after I’d been focused on a project, and walking right by two people without even seeing them. When I walked back with a cup of coffee, there they were! I was stunned. “Were you sitting there when I walked out of my office?” “Yep.” Oh, my.
What was the motive?
What was my motive?
Was I just an arrogant, unfeeling, uncaring person who walked by them without acknowledging them? Or, was I mad at them for some reason? Either was plausible.
Fortunately, they knew me, knew I was an introvert, and knew I was working on a deadline for a big project. On the way back, when I saw them, they shook their heads and chuckled at me.
The Bible sometimes goes behind an action or a statement and tells us the person’s motive.
The Jews were jealous. Acts 5:17; 17:5
The Jews were afraid. Luke 22:2
They wanted to be noticed. Matthew 23:5
Jesus knows everyone’s motives, of course. John 2:24-25
We usually don’t.
When we don’t know the motive
When someone walks by without acknowledging you, what do you think? Or suppose there is a mix up when you’re checking out of a store? Or someone cut you off in traffic? What do you think? What are their motives?
Do you automatically think the worst? He hates me. I must have done something terrible. He is incompetent. I bet she stole my stuff. She is a terrible driver. I wonder if he’s drunk.
Or do you consider other, more benign options? He must be thinking about something else. I wonder if something bad happened to him. She must be having a hard day. I wonder if that driver is trying to get to the hospital.
The first set of thoughts is likely to make you more upset. The second set of options helps you feel compassion.
And you do not know which is correct, if either.
Unless the person is someone you know and it is important for some reason to understand the action, (or you need to report them as a thief or dangerous driver) give them a pass. That’s the action that is healthiest for you, and most consistent with loving your neighbor, or loving your enemy.
You may have to ask
But if you need to know, you have to ask. Don’t make stuff up. Approach them with love, and ask.
